I’m not unique.

But I’m perfectly alright with that.

I wouldn’t trade avoiding stereotypes for the experience, the bond, the sisterhood.  The camaraderie  in my life across campus, across my future.  Call me what you want, group me how you wish.  I am wanted, needed, loved.  I am accountable to my family, my sisterhood.

My star wont ever be that high.  Is that a bad thing? I’m sorry to disappoint.

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do"

Click.

I want to feel loved. appreciated. accountable. recognized. remembered. liked. hated. pretty. successful. driven. admired. connected. right. rational. smart. envied. productive.

I want to feel wanted.

And I want to know I’m not alone.

Tagged: audio, concept, picture, punctum ]]> http://egb91.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/in-my-life/feed/ 0 emily two-friends-hugging http://egb91.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/become-better/ http://egb91.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/become-better/#comments Sat, 24 Apr 2010 23:36:42 +0000 Emily Burris http://egb91.wordpress.com/?p=476 ]]> People know, or at least they have heard.  In your own sphere of influence, you seem to shine a little brighter.  In your own eyes, anyway.

“Yeah I know but I thought about it and I figured I might as well rush. If I don’t like it, then that’s it.“

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  I’d spent the entire summer thinking I wanted to join a sorority my sophomore year.  I would spend my freshman year making some of my own friends, finding my way around campus, focusing on school work, and I would wait.  But suddenly, it clicked for me.  All of those things would be almost certainly a lot more difficult on my own.  Why not surround yourself with other girls who were successful, friendly, motivated, and who would push you to be the same?  As I browsed the website looking over pictures of smiling faces and successful-looking students, I made up my mind. I would rush; it felt right.

As I stared ahead into the space that was my future, I saw a possible star.

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.

This summer, my family took a trip to visit friends in Virginia and Maryland.  While we were there, we stopped at the Naval base in PAX that my dad used to be stationed at (we lived there for about 18 months when I was in kindergarten; it was in between two of our tours in Ridgecrest).  We attended a Change of Command ceremony for a colleague of his, and afterwards drove around to see the rest of the base.  We drove by a park and my mom said “Emily, that park over there is where we used to come play all the time.” “Oh cool,” I replied not really being phased by it, after all it was a generic looking park in a grassy area right next to some woods. “It’s funny,” my mom continued, “I remember you being very afraid of coming here the first few times.”  ”Why is that?” I asked.

“You used to tell me that you were very scared and thought something would happen to you if you got too close to the jungle.  You were really afraid when you couldn’t see the sky.”

Growing up in the desert does that to you, I guess.  You don’t even have to look up to notice it.

To my mind,
Growth;
To myself,
Faith

You’re not just you anymore.

Suddenly, you’re accountable to other people.

How you look, how you act, how you speak – hundreds of other people are instantly paired to that appearance, action, phrase, opinion.

I hold a responsibility to my sisters. If not for myself,

for them.